Departing again...

我们又分开了。。。
三个礼拜, 不是很久也不是很短的时间。。。
我会想念你们，我的好朋友。。。
你自己知道你是谁。。。

We depart again,
3 weeks, not a long nor a short period,
I'll miss all of you, my best friends...
You know who you are...

3 weeks, what the hell can I do? Well... nothing much...
sleep, play, dream, sleep, play, dream... and it goes on and on and on...
Oh, did I forget to mention EAT? :P...

I'm off to play my Left 4 Dead...
Bwai, Luv ya all...

Lazy

I lost interest in blogging... LOL
I'll probably be back soon, since it's semester break soon...
That's the only time I'm free...

Free from everything...
Except "something"...

意义/Worth

我在你生活里真的没有意义吗？

当你面对困难，我尽我能力去帮你。
当你要去任何一个地方，我会尽我能力去跟随你.
当你伤心的时候, 我尽我能力守候在你身边.
当你生病的时候, 我能做的只有为你祈祷.
但你知道我的存在吗？

我可以一辈子陪你面对所有的困难，
你想要拥有的,我愿意给你。
可是我能给的，不是你想要拥有的。
对不起。

你是我爱的人，可是，不是我的爱人。
你是我爱的人，可是，你已经有了爱人。
我在你生活里真的没有意义吗？

Am I not worth being in your life?

When you face problems, I try my best to help you
When you want to go somewhere, I try my best to follow you
When you’re down, I try my best to be you
When you’re sick, all I could do is to pray for you
But do you realize my existence?

I could follow you and face all the obstacles in your life
Anything that I could give you, I’m willing to give
But the things you want, I could not provide it
I’m sorry.

You’re the one I loved, but you’re not my lover.
You’re the one I loved, but you’ve the one you loved.
Am I not worth being in your life?

我死心/It's over

我死心

我死心吧，
我会离开你，
让你幸福，
我不会变这么自私，
应为我喜欢你，
不代表你一定要喜欢我。

再见，
各位朋友，
我会想着你们，
我会偷偷看你们，
小小声问你们好不好，
可是，你们看不到我也听不到我的声音。

我在这个世界也没有意思了，
活下去也让我跟痛苦，
谢谢，至少你有当我是你的朋友。

It's over

It's over,
I'll leave you alone,
Let you search for your happiness,
I'm not that self-centered,
Just because I love you,
It doesn't mean that you have to love me.

Good bye,
My friends,
I'll always remember you,
I'll peek you guys when I'm free,
Softly ask if you're okay when I'm there,
But you'll never see or hear me.

Living in this world has no meaning anymore,
Even if I continue, I'll suffer,
Thank you, at least you're willing to treat me as your friend.

p.s.

我没有跟你讲过我很喜欢你，
可是，我也不敢讲，
是因为，我怕我们连朋友也不能做。

我不要，可是我不能。
你是**，我也***,
为什么我会喜欢你，
我自己也不明白。
我为什么会****？

我愿意/ I'm willing

我愿意

你/妳说，
要我做什么也好，
如果你遇到什么困难我愿意帮你，
我愿意。

我什么都愿意，
只不愿意你/妳把我当是普通朋友。

I'm willing

You asked for me,
To do whatever you want me to do,
To help you when you are encountering problems,
I'm willing to do so.

I'm willing to do anything,
Just that I'm not willing to accept that you only see me as your friend.

我不怪你/妳 - I'll never blame you

我不怪你/妳

我不怪你/妳，
做了什么错，
你/妳也不想的，
不要紧，我原谅你/妳。

要怪也怪我自己，
不会想，
不会做，
不会牺牲，
怪自己那么笨。

什么事也好，
我也不会怪你/妳...


I'll never blame you

I won't blame you,
Whatever that you've done wrong,
You never did it on purpose,
It's okay, I'll forgive you.

If it has to be blamed,
blame it on me, for,
not able to think,
not able to do,
not able to sacrifice,
blame myself for being so stupid.

Whatever it is,
I'll never blame you.

我跟他/她不一樣吗?/Am I that different?

我跟他/她不一樣吗?

每天，我想着你/妳。
可是你/妳就跟他/她谈天，
你/妳跟他，
谈话的语气也都跟我一模一样。

我想着你/妳，
想跟你/妳谈天，
想跟你/妳一起，
想你/妳在我身边，
可是，我跟他/她不一樣吗?

Am I that different

Everyday, I think about you.
But, you always talk to him/her,

With him/her,
The ways you talk differ than how you talk to me.

I think about you,
Wish to talk to you,
Wish to go out with you,
Wishing for you to be by my side,
But, am I really that different than him/her?

我能吗？/ Could I?

我能吗？

我们是两个世界的人。
谈话也不一样，
两个不同的语言，
我要跟你谈天，
可是，我能吗？

我怕，
我爬，
我想，
我要，
可是，我能吗？

Could I?

We are from two different worlds,
The way we talk differs,
Two languages that are not known to each other,
I wish to have a little chat with you,
Even a little, but could I?

I climb,
I try,
I hope,
I wish,
But, could I?

My first chinese poem... Written and translated by myself also...

Breathe In, Breathe Out

LOL! My topic has nothing to do about me giving birth or anything similar. As if I can give birth. Anyways I'm currently suffering from an asthma attack. It usually happens when I breathe in not-so-clean air or dust. I'm really allergic to those. I'll start to sneeze non-stop and an asthma attack will occur but I don't think I involve myself in any of those earlier.

I'm sneezing like mad now while typing out this post, having breathing difficulty.

I hate History of Art and Design, the subject and the person who teaches it, SERIOUSLY! Oh god, she's so stupid, has some kind of freaking attitude, shouty voice and everything bad! ARGH! I just SO hate her-lah! Pissing off. I was rushing for the essay yesterday night, just to find out that she'll be busy tomorrow, which means no presentation. WTF-lah? She's full of nonsense, today she started the lecture without lecture notes for us, OK fine! Then she asked Alicia to go and get the lecture notes at PC, but we are in PG! It's like 10 minutes walk from PG to PC, meaning 20 minutes to get back the lecture hall. She didn't tell us how much we have to pay for the notes or what we have to take. So, I thought one stack only, which means today's lecture note. I asked Hui Fang to fetch me there and get the notes cause Alicia and I parked in Jaya One, don't want to waste RM2 just to go in and come out again. When I reached there, I was so shocked to see 2 boxes of notes and a total amount of RM299.40. I only have RM100 in my wallet. So f***ing furious that time, almost exploded because that b***h didn't even say anything. I called Alicia to come and take the notes and bring the money. Wasted-lah her parking fee. Went into the class with that damn 'mm song' face looking at her. Not enough of the misery, lecture notes was already brought into the class, she didn't even bother to take the time to pass out the notes until the break time. STUPID, OK?!

READ THIS!
NO ONE WAS LISTENING TO YOUR LECTURE OK?
I DOUBT ANYONE REMEMBERS ANYTHING YOU SAID!

Breathe... Must not get too furious, later die from suffocation.

Probably some good news for myself, I probably get a new phone for myself with 3G functions. Okay, I admit, I'm a bit outdated. I'm not wealthy, can't afford anything. This phone is also an offer offered by Maxis for registering a new line. This is a bad news for me, which means I'll have to change number. I got like I-don't-know-how-many-hundred friends to inform. So, should I change or should I not? Still making decision. Hahaha... If I decided to get that, you guys can video-call-me already! I can see you and you can see me! YAY!

Learn more stuff in Desktop Publishing II today. Let's see, Mesh tool and 3D Revolve tool. Seriously cool-lah wieh! According to T4, their tutor didn't teach them these stuff, why? I kinda like their tutor and I was so envy that she was teaching T4. But now, I feel sad for them. I teach you all-lah kay? =P

Need to start doing DTP II first assignment already, designing 3 postcards. One of my sketches was chosen which is the Petronas Twin Tower, I bet I'll have hard time making that ONE postcard.

For some reason, I started to breathe normally now. Probably because I released all my anger here earlier. LOL!

Adios!

Walking on the memories

Went out with my foundation friends today, we planned this gathering for like I-don't-know-how-many-months. One year has passed since our last meeting/gathering, now I'm already in Year 2. So many things had happened last year that I don't even know about and I happen to find out all today, it's too much to handle so many shocking news.

Everyone changed, by their looks, the way they talk, and you know what? I don't even realize that they are my age. I'm too used to being the "youngest" in my course.

Today was an 'okay' day in UTAR. There's something I wouldn't forget for probably my entire semester. One of my favourite lecturers, Ms Emelia, asked me a weird question. She asked if I was from tutorial 3! Oh My God! How could she forget me?! Nooo... But then, if she doesn't remember I'm from Tutorial 3, and then who's the class representative for Tutorial 3? Freaky...

Ms Ida is a quite okay to me, well, humble and nice. It will take sometime for her to replace Ms Clare Tan in my heart. LOL! I don't love her but I just like her. I learn that blending tool which is extremely cool. I didn't know Illustrator can do such a thing.

I shall keep all my foundation secrets to myself. I'm very tired now.
I'm going to sleep. Good night.


Took this picture from the sticker kiosk. There are 2 more pictures and I'm waiting for Hwee Ling to send it to me!

Totally random
God, please help me...
Am I born to be like this? Can't I really change?
Or is it my destiny or fate to be like this?

I've been tagged!

Was forced told to...

Real name: Gan Jay Han
Nickname: Revolution, Jay Jay, Ryan
Married: Let's see... I don't even remember...
Zodiac Sign: Aries
Male or Female: Non-existence! LOL!

High School: SMK Methodist A.C.S Klang
College: UTAR
Short or long hair: Short
Are you a health freak?: Well, sometimes... but normally No!
Height: 175cm, 5"9 maybe
Do you have a crush on someone?: Hahaha... Yea! Both male and female! >:| *evil grins*
Do you like yourself?: Er, I'm born like this... So I can't choose...
Piercings: None!
Righty of lefty: Righty!

FIRST*
First surgery: I think it was my tougue, something grew in there when I was 6.
First piercing(s): None...
First best friend: Everyone is my best friend. It's either best friend or enemy only!
First award: Pelajar Terbaik! XD, Seriously, I'm not joking!
First sport you joined: Never liked sports, that's why I'm so fat! LOL
First pet: Should be that unwanted Shin Tzu outside my house now.
First vacation: Err... Genting, I think... with my late father and family.
First concert: Malaysian Idol! JACLYN VICTOR!
First crush: I don't remember lah. - Not telling because it's part of the Penang confession session! Everything said in that room must not leaked! -

CURRENTLY*
Doing: Blogging this thingy!
Eating: Sisa-sisa makanan yang ada kat celah gigi...
Drinking: My own saliva - Copied from 20! XD -
I’m about to: Fall asleep, too boring!

YOUR FUTURE*
Wants kids: Hmm... 100, who's willing to give birth to this amount, contact me please!
Want to get married: Don't know-lah!
Careers in mind: As long as the job pays me 4 figures that are reaching 5 figures!

WHICH ONE IS BETTER*
Lips or eyes: Eyes!
Hugs or kisses: Kisses!
Shorter or taller: In between!
Romantic or spontaneous: Who cares? Both also has its advantages.
Nice stomach or nice arms: Not important.
Trouble maker or hesitant: Don't trouble me!

HAVE YOU EVER*
Kissed a stranger: Never.
Drank bubbles: WTH?!
Lost glasses or contacts: Never.
Run away from home: Planned but never succeeded.
Liked someone younger: Hmm... Yea...
Liked someone older: I think so...
Broken someone’s heart: As far as I know, none.
Been arrested: Nope!
Turned someone down: Don't remember.
Cried when someone died: Of course la wieh! Own family member died, takkan LAUGH?
Liked a friend: I like everyone! =)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN*
Yourself: Almost never, I looked down on myself.
Miracles: Yes!
Love at first sight: Yes Yes Yes Yes!
Heaven: Nope.
Sex on the first date: Maybe!
Angels: Nope.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY*
Is there one person you want to be with right now: Maybe yes, maybe no!
Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time: I only have one heart meaning I'll only love one person at one time!
Do you believe in God: Sometimes, when something miraculously happened.

People I tag:

Yee Leng already tagged those I know, so I don't need to type already!
Go to her blog and see if you've been tagged!

Regeneration

Well, it seems like years since I last update this blog. I doubt anyone actually remember the existence of this blog.

A few reasons why I thought of re-blogging, the first and utmost is because Ms Yuen, my Interactive Multimedia lecturer told us to blog. The others would be a few of my friends who frequently asking me to update my blog.

Nothing much, I could blog about for the past few months and blog about my Penang trip, but I'm too lazy. Overall would be that, we learn more about one or another. Secrets were shared, maybe not secrets. Feelings!

Now, I'm frustrating about my Packaging Design's product, supposed to choose a typical Malaysian snack food, which I have no idea what it is. I have a few choices but I don't know whether it'll work. What if I chose that and I can't come out with a nice design? I want to maintain my CGPA!

I'd hate History for all my life, and now there's History of Arts and Design I, OMG! There's II as well, I hope I don't fail this freaking subject because I'd never pass History, even in SPM. I failed. LOL! And I'm still proud of it! The lecturer, Oh My God! I think I'll fail!

To get good results, you need to 'LOVE' the subject and also 'LOVE' whoever that is teaching it. But, I don't 'LOVE' any of them!

I do love something this semester! My group mates, it was randomly picked by a drawing of numbers. Coincidentally, and this is really cute! My surname is Gan, Sin Nee's surname is Gan also, but we are not brother and sister. Kean Yew's surname is Tan, Chee Pan's surname is Tan too! And they are not brothers. The combination of surnames will be, Gan Gan Tan Tan. (It was really placed like this, freaky though) When you actually read the combination of the surnames in Cantonese, it'll be Simple and Easy!

I wish to stick to this group for all the assignments this semester! I don't want to change!
I DON'T CARE! I DON'T WANT! READ MY LIPS!

I!!!
DON'T!!!
WANT!!!

OK-lah, I'm going to do my research on the freaking subject! Bwai...